사람들이 엄청 추천하길래 읽었는데 나한테 반면교사적인 교훈을 주었다.
우선 나는 어디도 간적이없다!! 뭔가 성공한게 있어야하는데 딱히 없는듯? 그래서인지 이 책이 성공한 사람들이 다음 목표를 성취하는데 도움을 주는 책이라면 반대로 하는 처음에 어느 성공이라도 간 사람들이 어떤 사람들인가를 읽을 수 있었다. 물론 내가 이미 성공한 사람들에게 없는 다른 장점이 있을지 모르나 이미 이룬게 없는 상황에서 크게 도움이 되는지는 모르겠다.
The success delusion
1. I have succeeded
2. I can succeed
3. I will succeed
4. I choose to succeed
Habits that hold you back from top
1. Winning too much
2. Adding too much value
3. Passing judgment
4. Making destructive comments
5. Starting with "no", "but" or "however"
6. Telling the world how smart we are
7. Speaking when angry
8. Negativity or "let me explain why that won't work"
9. withholding information
10. Failing to give poper recognition
11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve
12. Making excuses
13. Clinging to the past
14. Playing favorites
15. Refusing to express regret
16. Not listening
17. Failing to express gratitue
18. Punishing the messenger
19. Blame everyone else but oneself.
20. An excessive need to be "me"
21. GOAL OBSESSION
Feedback
1. Let go of the past
2. Tell the truth
3. Be supportive and helpful -not cynical or negative
4. Pick something to improve yourself - so everyone is focused more on 'improving' than 'judging"
5. Clary communicate a vision
6. Treat people with respect.
7. Solicit contrary opinions
8. Engourage other people's ideas
9. Listen to other people in meetings
10. Make a list of people's casual remarks about you
11. Turn the sound off and observe others.
12. Complete the sentence- if you do A, then B comes.
13. Listen to your self-aggrandizing remarks.
Apologizing
Telling the work or advertising
Listening
1. Listen
2. Don't interrupt
3. Don't finish the other person's sentences.
4. Don't say "I knew that"
5. Don't even agree with the other person even if he praises you, just say "Thank you".
6. Don't use the words no, but and however.
7. Don't be distracted. Don't let your eyes or attention wander elsewhere while the other person is talking.
8. Maintain your end of the dialogue by asking intelligent questions that 1. show you are paying attention 2. move the conversation forward 3. require the other person to talk while you listen.
9. Eliminate any straving to impress the othe person with how smart or funny you are. Your only aim is to let the other person feel that she's accomplishing that.
Thanking
Following up
Practicing feedforward
1. Pick the one behavior that you would like to chnage which would make a significant, positive difference inyour life.
2. Describe the objective in 1-1 dialogue with anyone you know.
3. Ask that person for two suggestions
4. Listen attentively to the suggestions and only say "THANK you" nothing else.
Rules of change
1. You might now have a disease that behavior change can cure. It can be skills gap.
2. Pick the right thing to change not the one you think is the right.
3. Don't delude yoruself about what you really must change. Don't choose the easier one.
4. Do't hide from the truth you need to hear
5. There is no idal behavior
6.If you can measure it, you can achive it.
7. Monetize the result, crate a solution
8. The best time to change is now.
Special challenge for people in charge
1. Memo to staff: How to handle me.
2. Stop letting your staff overwhelm you
3. Stop acting as if you are managing you
4. Stop checking the box
5. Stop being prejudiced about your employees
-- I know what they want
-- I know what they know
-- I have their selfishness
-- I can always get someone else
6. Stop trying to coach people who shouldn't be coached
